Got Some Dirt on my Shoulder, Could You Brush it Off for Me?

What is your most embarrassing moment? That's a question you've probably been asked a lot in your life. So, why do I bring this up? Well, today I was thinking about the fact that every time someone asks me that question, I instantly go back to kindergarten... kindergarten??? Really??? Who has a single worry or care at that age? I mean, I thought all kindergartners were busy licking their paste and drinking Kool-Aid... at least that's what I was doing. Anyway, one day (back in the Mrs. Long's class), I was waiting in the "car-rider" line after the bus-riders had been dismissed. We were standing up, and I was staring off into space like I do so often. Mrs. Long told us to be seated, but due to my mental absence, I didn't hear her. The boy behind me, Jason (yes, I still remember his name), didn't want me to get into trouble. So, he gave my shorts a little tug to alert me. Well, I guess he tugged a little too hard, cause my shorts fell to my ankles! As all the other little, punk, kindergarten boys laughed, I just wanted to cry... and I was a super sensitive kid. I was pretty sure I'd never be able to face my class again... and I was all of like 4 years old! It wasn't until quite a few years later that I was able to look back at that and laugh... I know, I'm a nerd! All that to say, when something humiliating happens, we have to just laugh and brush it off like it ain't no thang! So, here is my attempt to look back at past humiliations and laugh... Enjoy!

A few years ago, I had a repeat of the kindergarten incident. I was in the packed lobby of my church before a wedding, talking to my mom and another lady. All of a sudden, I felt a breeze! Who's dress pants just fall to the ground?!?! I mean, come on!! It was definitely embarrassed! Apparently I have issues with pants! Unfortunately, I wasn't four years old this time... try about twenty years old! I'm just now getting to a point where I can laugh about that one...

This past summer, at "drama camp," Bernard, Tyler and I decided to go to CVS. We piled into my car, got out "Pinocchio," my GPS, and entered CVS as our destination. The GPS said, "Go left," so we went left. Then, it immediately said, "arriving at destination."Yes, we had driven, and used a GPS, to get across the street...! At least I wasn't the only one that could be blamed.

In high school, I once shot at the wrong basket during a basketball game... thankfully, people started yelling at me when I went to shoot, so I jerked my hand and missed.

In middle school, I was playing basketball with some friends in a church parking lot. There was a chain that draped across the sidewalk behind the basket. For some reason, I decided to jump over the chain to retrieve the ball. Well, I have absolutely no vertical! I got tripped up on the chain and fell flat on the asphalt. I hit SO hard that I got the wind knocked out of me... and everyone (mostly boys) was standing right there watching! Complete and total humiliation!

Summer of '07, I was on stage at Belmont University, getting ready for "Benji and Bertie." The set was set up on the wood slabs that had wheels. Well, unbeknownst t0 me, the wood slabs had been painted black to blend in with the floor. I don't need any help falling... I do it just fine on my own. But, I went to walk backstage and didn't see the wood (since it was now black) and tripped on it. I tried to catch my balance, but in doing so, i hit another slab and crashed to the floor, nearly taking "The Underground" set with me. You could hear it all over the auditorium and everyone rushed the stage to check on me. I was so embarrassed that I had to just lay there and laugh for a few moments.

Pretty much anything associated with Mega Relay in the summer of '08 was beyond embarrassing. It would take me ten hours to share all of that, but feel free to ask me for specifics... or you can ask anyone on the '08 NGU Fuge staff. I clearly have issues with standing on my own two feet. A piece of advice: no matter what anyone tells you, DO NOT do Izzy Dizzy!

Then there are those moments when you do something stupid, and it wouldn't really matter, but it gets caught on tape. Like on family vacation... I couldn't have my younger cousins show me up in Chubby Bunny! I had to represent! Little did I know, the video would be viewed by more than just those who share my genes. So, in effort to ante up & put everything on the table, enjoy:

Warning: Fat Kid Moment!

There are tons and tons of embarrassing things that have occurred in my life. I know there are incidents far worse than what I have mentioned, but I have forced them from my memory. If you have been there to experience any others, please share... I know you're not laughing at me, but with me... cause I can guarantee I'm laughing!