Go On, Take the Money and Run...

This post is for my fellow Starbucks baristas that were not working on the evening of February 17, 2009. You may have heard rumors about what went down at our lovely place of employment, but I am here to tell you that they are just rumors! Josh, John, Lisette and I would like to clarify the events of the evening. Yes, a man did steal a bunch of stuff and try to return it for cash... as well as jack our hard-earned tips; however, let me tell you what the cops won't. Realizing that this what the man that has been stealing from all the Starbucks in the district, John went to the office to call the cops. Meanwhile, the rest of us stalled the suspect with our impeccable acting skills. When the cops pulled up, the man tried to bolt. Without hesitation, Josh jumped over the bar and tackled the guy to the ground. Then, I came to the rescue and proceeded to give this punk the whoopin' of his life! The cops, wanting to feel like they had taken part in the subduing of the suspect, decided to tase the man. Of course, they missed. One beam hit Josh, the other hit me. Since we were tangled in a tussle, the circuit was completed and both Josh and I were debilitated. Obviously, at this point, the man was able to get up and and make a break for it! The cops were unable to catch him, and the man got away. Later on, he was spotted at the Shell station by another officer. That officer was able to catch the crook, due to the fact that the crook was barely able to walk from the beating I had dished him earlier. While all of this happened, Lissette was able to cover register, bar, drive-thru, and handle the influx of phone calls. John, being the great shift supervisor he is, saw in the security camera that Josh and I clearly had things under control (until the cops showed up), so he decided to stay in the back and work on pre-close, so that we could be as efficient as possible! Lissette, you deserve a promotion! John, you deserve a raise! Josh, we deserve a cash reward and a phone call from ole Howard Schultz himself! As for the rest of you baristas, be honored to work with such Legends... know that you are always safe with us around! Side note- we were able to find $.35 of our stolen tips on the sidewalk. That Joker apparently lost the change in the scuffle. So no worries, we got a large chunk of the tips back!