Hey Now

There is a song by Augustana called "Hey Now." It's a catchy little song that I listen to quite often. This morning, I was listening to it as I headed to work at 4:30 am. Since there isn't much going on in my head that early in the morning, I was able to actually listen to the song and have the lyrics speak to me. If you aren't familiar, here are the lyrics:

sky black and blue,
blue turn to red,
it's quiet in the streets now,
but it's screaming in your head

i ain't a fool,
but i've got my doubts,
say it doesn't hurt,
it doesn't matter anyhow, anyhow...

hey we're just bleeding for nothing,
it's hard to breathe when
you're standing on your own,
we'll kill ourselves to find freedom,
you'll kill yourself
to find anything at all...

so lock all the doors,
and put your child to rest,
there's fire in the streets now,
but it's quiet in your head...

we're passing the time,
by breaking apart,
we're damned at the end,
and we're damned at the start,

blame it on the roses,
blame it on the red,
we're running out of time,
and i'm running out of breath,

hey now, we're bleeding for nothing,
it's hard to breathe when
you're standing on your own,
we'll kill ourselves to find freedom,
you'll kill yourself to find anything,

we say goodbye, everyday and nite,
we write it on the walls,
well everybody's gonna need somebody,
to take our troubles and our worries
and our problems all away,

hey now, hey now, hey now
right now.

Although the song may have been written to relate to a very different situation, it has still caused me to do a little self-reflection. Since graduating from college and moving back home, I have been incredibly restless and disheartened. I can relate to the "screaming in your head;" it's nearly impossible for me to clear my head anymore. I want to get out and stand on my own two feet...find a little purpose in my life! Sometimes it's all I can think about. "We'll kill ourselves to find freedom, you'll kill yourself to find anything at all..." sounds a bit extreme, but I can still relate on some scale. I feel like all of my problems will be solved, and I will find contentment if I could just achieve this "freedom." But is it really that easy? Why do I want to be on my own if "it's hard to breathe when you're standing on your own?" I'll just have other problems and worries waiting for me. Sounds like I just need to man-up and play with the cards I'm being dealt. Doesn't mean I can't be anticipating a good shuffle :)